Lydia: What is that noise?
Me: Someone playing the drums
Lydia: Oh, it sounds like someone putting their pans away.
Lydia: What does that Cuntuation mark mean?
Me: Punctuation?
Lydia: Cuntuation!
Charlotte: daddy, do you like girls ones? Do you like them nude?
Charlotte, 'reading' Lydia's reading book: Who's that?
Me: Kipper
Charlotte: No! It's a boy.
Me: Yes, he's called Kipper
Charlotte: Kipper is not a boys name. Kipper is a dogs name. Stupid Kipper.
Charlotte: did you do dancing today?
Me: dancing? No, I've been to work!
Charlotte: Oh. Did you have a story?
Me: haha, no!
Charlotte: Milk and a snack?
Charlotte: what's that smell?!
Me: what smell?
Charlotte: the smell up my nose!
Charlotte (watching Tangled) Oh My God!
Me (dashing in from the kitchen, thinking something awful had happened: What's the matter?!
Charlotte: She's the bad guy!
Me: What?
Charlotte: The muvver. The muvver is the bad guy. I didn't know.
Me (to Charlotte who's screaming her head off having her hair washed) Don't be such a drama queen!
Charlotte: I not a drama queen!
Me: You are! All this screaming, it's just a bit of water.
Charlotte: I not a drama queen, I a drama princess.
Lydia: Do you know that man in the petrol station? Was he Jewish?
Me : No idea, why?
Lydia: We've been learning about Jewish people today. I know all about them.
Me: Oh excellent, so what do you know?
Lydia: If you're Jewish you have a big tea on Friday and you don't go out after dark.
Charlotte: My tummy is hurting.
Me (picking her up for a cuddle) : Oh no! What's the matter with it?
Charlotte: I need a poo.
Me: Oh, well go and have one then.
Charlotte: I can't, you're holding me and you won't let me go.
Me: Charlotte, do you miss your sister when she's at school
Charlotte: No.
Me: Oh, why not?
Charlotte: I get some peace
Charlotte: Can we walk that way?
Me: No today, it's to slippy and muddy
Charlotte: It's ok, I'll hold your hand and you can walk like this you'll be safe.
Lydia: What's an Orphan?
Me: Someone who has no mummy and daddy
Lydia: I want to be an orphan
Me: Harsh!
Lydia: I love you really.....I could live with nana though
